This is a personal confession and a call to action for all the single ladies (and… gentlemen).
Lately, I have been bombarded in my ministry with tons of students ALL dealing with one thing: the dreadful life of SINGLENESS. At first, I was really irritated and frustrated that God would probe me in such an area that has been so painful in my past. “All I want to do is ministry! Don’t poke me in my weak areas! Just leave me alone and let me love my students”!!!! I could hardly put up with the young 2o year olds coming to me with their sob stories on how they think that God has given up on bringing the love of their life to them. I, being 28 years old…and still single, have had to control myself to not roll my eyes at them, and belittle their pain just because they are so much younger then I am.
Thankfully, God was not about to let me stay in a place of condemnation and bitterness towards the people that He loves. Through His refining fire, He has quickly changed my heart to see what He really wants me to with this time and situation he has placed me in. It is through my weakness and pain that He is calling me to minister to others that are in pain and through this willingness to lay my pain aside and minister to others … He is healing me.
I have been placed on Montgomery County Community College Campus to…. Isaiah 61:1 (ha, yes sometimes I like to use verses as verbs.)
“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, 2 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn.”
I believe that this state of despairing in singleness is holding some college students captive, and they must be reminded that if they are in Christ…they are free!
I came up with a list of things that I had to learn the hard way in my years of being a single woman. I want this list to serve as a warning, or a list of proverbs, so people can avoid these pitfalls! I praise God with everything in me that he has not kept me in a place of spiritual immaturity. I pray that he keeps advancing me so I can bring Him the most glory possible. I have had (and continue to have) so many conversations with my college students about this topic. These points have been REVOLUTIONARY to my soul, and I trust that they be the same for others.
1. Don’t waste any more time or energy worrying and exasperating yourself AND OTHERS about your singleness! This worry and anxiety is doubt in God’s goodness… which is a sin. You WILL damage yourself and others, if you stay in the place of despair and doubt. Confess this sin RIGHT AWAY, and ask Him to heal you. Don’t be your own savior. Christ died on the cross for a reason, and that reason is to cover sins like doubt in God the almighty. Ask Him to make you a Godly woman (or man), and then be expecting him to refine you by fire. Be willing to gain wisdom and understanding through all the different ways He may bring it.
2. Know that it is settled. Nothing you can do (no matter how much you worry) can change the sovereignty of God’s plan for your life. Whether he has you single or married, it is good. He is good, and He is not holding anything good from your life.
3. Ask God to get you to a healthy place in your heart where you know that marriage is a good thing and an unbelievable blessing, even though you may be single for the rest of your life! Thank Him for the institution of marriage in the church body, and pray for those who are married! Pray that their covenant would be protected, and that God’s glory will be seen through those who are married!
4. We have all heard the phrase “just wait on God”. To wait on God should be nothing like waiting in a doctor’s office, reading a magazine, or twirling your thumbs and just waiting for your time to come. Waiting on God is like waiting on him as a waiter/waitress in a 5 star restaurant! You need to be at God’s EVERY beckon call. You need to be always asking Him where He wants you next. How can you best serve Him…and how hot He wants His buffalo wings!!
5. God will give you the desire of your heart. Yes, this is true, but the desire of our hearts should be completely and utterly for God’s Glory to be shown to the world, no matter what that looks like in your life!
6. Stop trying to figure God’s timing and reasoning out! God will surprise you and dumbfound you with the ways he chooses to bring people in and out of your life. Be sure not to hold onto anyone too tightly, or too far away. Always be sure to look for the ways He is trying to communicate/ and teach you about Himself through every relationship He brings your way.
There is more where that all came from, but I think that’s a good list to chew on for now.
Please View this John Piper YouTube. He always seems to rock my world. It has been nothing but sheer joy for me to know these truths and to put them into practice…….
Rejoice Evermore 
About single-ness….my mother always said, ‘when you least expect it, it will happen.” This I believe! martha 😉
Oh Erin… Thank you-thank you-thank you for trusting in our Lord and sharing what He has put on your heart! You know I’m totally with you! I especially like the picture of “waiting on God” as a waitress… it’s true! Our awesome and amazing Lord will give us the desires of our hearts, but we have to be faithful to Him and trust in His will, too.
You know you have been on my heart often… I will continue to pray that the Lord keeps speaking to you and using you for His ministry at MontCo. I love you, sista!
In Him,
Julianne
Erin,
Thanks for sharing these thoughts. I can echo an agreeing AMEN to all of these points. Please continue to share these thoughts with other single students and women in your life. I love your heart to wrestle through your pain and fight for godliness in the midst of all of it.
Much love,
Tara
You are a woman wise beyond your years. Thanks for sharing what God is teaching and blessing your readers with it.
Wow, Erin. Thank you for sharing your deeply-rooted perspective and wisdom on your view of singleness. I am challenged to let the things you shared, along with what John Piper said, roll around in my head until God helps them to make such sense to me that I feel it in my bones.
Love you, Elizabeth